The Truth about Men’s Mental Health
I did not interview men for the first four years of my
study. And it wasn't until a man looked at me one day after a book signing and
said, "I love what you have to say about shame. I'm curious why you didn't
mention men." And I said, "I don't study men." And he said,
"That's convenient." And I said, "why?" And he said,
"Because you say, to reach out, tell our story. Be vulnerable. But you see
those books you just signed for my wife and my three daughters?" I said,
"Yeah." He said, "They'd rather me die on top of my white horse than
watch me fall down. When we reach out to be vulnerable, we get the shit
beat out of us. And don't tell me it's from the guys and the coaches and the
dads. Because the women in my life are harder on me than anyone else."
(Bert: “Most men live lives of quiet desperation.” ~ Thoreau in Walden)
From Comments Section:
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up
alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you
feel alone. “- Robin Williams
Every
woman I've ever been in a relationship with has used my weaknesses against me.
Now I have a dog. And you know what? I have never felt more comforted than I do
by this dog.
As a man, every time I’ve had a woman ask me to be more open
and vulnerable, they ended up judging me for it. I learned my lesson.
When women tell us, "You can open up to me.” What they
really mean is, "You can tell me how you feel when I’m in the mood.”
The secret to survival as a man is knowing and accepting
that the world does not give a shit about your pain.
"A boy becomes a man when he realizes that nobody is
coming to save him."
"When Brene Brown talks about
vulnerability, she's talking about revealing your courage and emotional
strength. When men talk about vulnerability, they're talking about revealing
their dependency and emotional weakness."
"My ex kept asking me to open up and be vulnerable with her. The only thing it did was turn her off, and give her ammunition for fights. And she had the audacity to tell me that she was the only one putting in any emotional labor. When I was vulnerable she told me "I'm not your Mother". This is why most men love their Mothers so much, because we will never get that level of compassion from anyone else in our lives."
"There's a reason why dogs are a man's best friend."
"Opening up, talking about the
abusive family relationships I experienced growing up, and letting my ex in, is
the reason why I lost
her. She left me, for the douchebag coworker that was getting promoted to be my
boss. Seriously fellas, if you have got the girl you would risk it all for, NEVER talk about the bad bads. That’s
for your best mate, and guaranteed he will have your back, and hold an ear for
you, and appreciate the fact you talked to him about it. PSA."
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