From Critic to Coach: A Better Way to Help Each Other Grow

 

"Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness... Galatians 6:1 (ESV)

There’s a strange thing that happens when you try to change someone’s mind about you. Let’s say someone thinks you’re a controlling, egotistical tyrant. Well that’s not great. So what do we do? We try to win them over. Talk them out of it. Set the record straight. Clear the air.

Only… it rarely works.

Because if someone’s already made up their mind that you’re an “Authoritarian Narcissist” (real or imagined), they’re not going to do a 180 just because you ask nicely. The harder you try to convince them you’re not what they think, the more suspicious they get. It’s like trying to wrestle your way out of quicksand — you just sink deeper.

But what if we’re coming at this all wrong?

What if instead of arguing with our critics, we tried listening to them?

Now, I’m not saying you hand them a gavel and let them pronounce final judgment on your soul. I’m just saying maybe we admit they might have a point. Maybe you do have a little too much control in your grip. Maybe your confidence sometimes comes off as ego. Maybe the way you enforce boundaries feels more like barbed wire than a fence.

If you can acknowledge even a fraction of that, you can invite them into a whole different kind of conversation.

Something like:

“Look, I don’t see myself exactly the way you do. But I can admit I’ve got some sharp edges. Would you be willing to help me smooth them out?”

Now you’re not enemies in a standoff. You’re teammates in a shared project.

You’ve shifted the frame from adversary to ally. You’ve taken their criticism and turned it into an invitation — not to tear you down, but to build something better together.

It’s amazing what can happen when you treat your critic like a coach.

Because here’s the truth: people want to feel useful. They want to be a helper, or your champion.  And they want to feel heard. And deep down, most folks would rather be helpful than hostile — if you give them a road to walk that doesn’t feel like surrender.

You don’t have to pretend they’re totally right. And they don’t have to pretend you’re flawless. But if both of you can meet somewhere in that middle space — the space where growth happens — you’ve got a shot at something real.

And maybe, just maybe, you’ll both come out better for it.

"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."
— Philippians 2:4 (ESV) 

Humility

 

 

Let’s face it - nobody lines up for a seminar called“How to Be Overlooked.” We live in a world full of self-promotion, loud voices, and that tells us to "look out for number one." But if we take a step back - quiet our spirit for just a moment - won't we sense something else being said to us?  It’s older, wiser, and far more enduring. It’s the voice of Scripture. And it says: be humble.

Now, humility doesn’t mean thinking less of yourself. It means thinking about yourself less. It’s about posture. About choosing to kneel when you could stand on a  pedestal.

Proverbs tells us that “with the humble is wisdom” (11:2). That’s not just good advice, it's a north star.  James echoes that with: "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble” (4:6). I don’t know about you, but maybe we should stand in God’s grace over His opposition.

Jesus said, “Whoever humbles himself will be exalted” (Matt. 23:12). And that’s not an empty platitude. He lived it. He humbled Himself all the way to the cross. The King of Kings chose the lowest place - and by doing so, showed us the path to highest honor.

Paul says, “count others more significant than yourselves” (Phil. 2:3). That’s not natural - but it is holy. And it reshapes our relationships, it reshapes our churches, our homes.

You see, humility is not some side virtue useful only for special occasions. It’s a way of life - a way of seeing others rightly, seeing yourself clearly, and seeing God with reverence. It’s not weakness. It’s strength that knows where it comes from, where it stands and where it is rooted.

So today, let's vow to walk humbly. Speak gently. Serve quietly. Trust deeply. And remember: the path down is the path up.

“Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God,” Peter tells us,“so that at the proper time He may exalt you” (1 Peter 5:6).

God sees. God knows. And in His time, He lifts up those who kneel.

May God bless you all.

In excelsis Deo.